NBA vs. MBA: Pro-Athlete or Average Joe

Hello! I'm back! It's been an "interesting" month or so. If you're a friend and/or subscriber you know what's been going on. If not, let's just say that nothing in life is certain except, that you will get kicked while you're down. Repeatedly. Moving on...

For anyone close to me they know of my infatuation with one certain very tall, very German, very successful Dallas Maverick. I understand you think he looks like Cro-Magnon, I DON'T CARE. I think he's beautiful! Anyways... It has suddenly dawned on me that in today's dating market it is probably more likely for me to land a pro-athlete than it is to find a normal guy, a "Mr. Middle of the Road". Now you really think I've lost it? Someone is currently calling Dirk and telling him to lock his doors. Hear me out...

Actually, either athlete or average joe are equally impossible to find. Per my previous post, (if you didn't read it you should so this one makes a little more sense), men aren't really living up to their name. They've regressed into perpetual boyhood due to lack of responsibilities and motivation to think of anyone but themselves. With that said, please understand married friends, I appreciate your sentiments of "you'll find someone" or "your time will come" but honestly, you have NO IDEA how bleak the dating scene is right now. Unless you're "enhanced", spend your every waking second in a gym, have legs from here to Botswana, or could double for Heidi Klum you're passed over. Men seem to think that they're going to find a Victoria's Secret model on Match.com or out mingling at a happy hour. And nine times out of ten if I meet someone at church they assume all I want to do is argue theology and ponder the ways of the puritans. There has to be a middle of the road, you have to meet us normal girls halfway or something. You're simply asking for too much and giving too little.

Let's break it down here...
There are two extremes. One is a woman that looks something like a "sister-wife" that wants to pop out 23 children, home school them all, and happily makes her own clothes a la Little House on the Prairie. The other is someone that looks like she rolled out of the Kmart cosmetics section, eats like a micro-organism, and will hop in the sack with anything that doesn't run screaming from their hyper-colored pigmentation. So what's a normal girl to do? We can't compete with our over-sexed counterparts because men are so visually driven they turn into slobbering beasts and my weekend attire of jeans, a tank top, and flip flops and lack of desire to sit in prayer all day is too "secular" for such a good and holy man.

So bottom line is, if I spend my time pursuing a celebrity basketball player or a normal guy in today's dating world I will probably get the same result. Someone who thinks I'm just too normal for them. Oh well. "Normal" I shall be and "normal" I shall remain. Someday my ordinary will be discovered as extraordinary by someone. Your loss dudes. Just remember who runs the world...

http://youtu.be/VBmMU_iwe6U

Feminism gone awry

Ok friends...confession. I watch all of the "Real Housewives of..." shows. Atlanta is my favorite and Orange County makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Whew, glad I got that off my chest, thanks.

Brace yourself, I'm about to go all Christmas Vacation on this thing...

I was watching the first episode of the newest New York season and the newest addition to the cast is, "housewife", Cindy. I'm going to go on record and just go ahead and say that women like Cindy are what's wrong with the world, (the world of relationships anyways)! She's your stereotypical feminist "power suit" over 40 that "has it all" and is "proof that you don't need a man". B#!*$ please! Are you kidding me?! This woman is the very reason that men are now eternal lost boys and chivalry has gone all Rip Van Winkle on us! Men are told day in and day out anymore that they aren't NEEDED. Calling all men: women can have everything they want and not ever have to be involved with a you ever again! So just go on about your life and don't worry about ever having to be chivalrous, mature, successful, masculine, self-sacrificing, or any of those pesky "traditional" male roles. Now, let's break things down for Miss Cindy...let's burst that delusional little bubble:
1. Cindy has 10 month old twins. Conceived via IVF. Last time I checked you didn't fertilize your own eggs. Just because you're not in a relationship with your "donor" doesn't mean that he wasn't absolutely neccessary for your babies. MAN=sperm=your babies. Duh.
2. Cindy owns a hair removal spa. Ok, I will also go on record as saying that if it weren't for MEN, women would not have nearly the amount of motivation that we do to shave, wax, thread, laser, etc. Can I get an Amen?! The co-owner of said business (who she claims wouldn't have succeeded without) is her brother, oops Cindy, another MAN! So Cindy is wildly successful financially, (partially because of her brother, a MAN), has children (sperm from a MAN), a fabulous home, (probably designed and built by MEN, just sayin'), and is just tickled about her perfect life delusionally void of MEN. I mean, I'm not a rocket scientist but I'm gonna guess that Cindy fills her life with all these "man-less" things because she's too embarrassed to admit that she's a miserable human being because she's lonely! In a nutshell she sucks at relationships but it's never her fault and she's just over-joyed to be such an "independent woman". Just be honest Cindy, it's either you don't WANT, (very different from need), a man or just own it that you're a miserable woman that has spent her entire life living selfishly and now it's too late for you to change your tune so you're just gonna rock this "I don't need a man to be happy" bullsh*t! Women like her are running men into never-never land in droves and I for one am NOT going to stand for it anymore! Quit ruining perfectly good men for the rest of us!!!

Ladies, if we keep treating men like boys they will continue to act like boys! As of now, men have no motivation whatsoever to grow up and be responsible and treat women how we are to be treated, and we women are to blame. Say what you will, enjoy your hormone injections, and go burn your bras all you "Cindys" of the world...I will be busy scooping up all the wonderful MEN you've turned away. Because I do need & want a man, husband, father to my children (someday), and someone to come home to everyday and build a life with. Don't get it twisted, I'm all for women advancing themselves and being successful but, just be mindful ladies that there is a flipside to this "independent" coin that we've been shoving down everyone's throats and it usually involves a lot of alone time. And it gets old pretty quick.

"Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the tylenol?!" ~ Clark W. Griswold

Scott free!

For anyone that knows me they know of my disdain for my, (now former), boss. There is no coincidence that he shares a name with the world's worst blithering idiot of a manager from tv's "The Office". The past 6 months of my working life have been anything but pleasant but, I'm not going to waste anymore time or energy talking about the past or unimportant people. What I am going to talk about is how ecstatic I am about my new job I started yesterday! The pay is the same, I don't have benefits at the moment, and the commute is 30 minutes as opposed to 10. Am I crazy you ask?! No. No, I am not. You want to know what's crazy? Do you?! Continuing to work somewhere and for someone that makes you miserable, THAT is crazy. After attending a wedding and the birth of a new baby all in one weekend it became VERY apparent to me what was important to me, (thank you to the Matejkas & the newly married Deutermans for the epiphany), and the environment I was spending my life in was not conducive to those things. Upon returning to Dallas I quickly kicked my priorities into their respective places. First priority, get right with God! Done. Everything else has fallen into place since then. I love my new job. I love my new boss(es). I love my new freedom. And I love that for the first time in almost a decade I am working to live, not living to work! In the coming months I will be attending parties, a wedding, and will begin planning a vacation to Paris, France! Family, friends, and readers...I challenge you to (re)evaluate your life! Look at what's truly important to you! When you find something that isn't, GET RID OF IT! So, thank you Michael Scott for being the worst boss I've ever had. Thank you for treating me and the rest of your staff like ignorant garbage. It changed my life. It opened my eyes and most of all made me live by the notion that you reap what you sow. I see nothing but a bountiful harvest in my future. As for others...hope you like rotten crops. Let me know how that works out for you. ;)

Are you there vodka? It's me, Alicia...

Hello world and welcome to my blog! Whoa, never thought I'd ever type those words, "my blog". Ironically, that is precisely what this blog is dedicated to: the unexpected. My life is not at all what I envisioned it would be in my late 20's. As I approach the dreaded 3-0, I have come to realize that I am great at taking directions but, HORRIBLE at being REdirected. Once I have a trajectory I don't much like to stray too far from that plan. I have been this way for 28 years and I This is where things get interesting because it seems as if things never go according to MY plan. MY plan was to attend my higher education venue of choice, have this fantastic career in veterinary medicine, marry prince charming, buy a house, have a few kids, and just be fabulous in general all by the age of 25... Not so much. Instead, my path has taken me all over Texas to every higher education venue except the one I wanted, I have a fledgling career in food service, prince charming is MIA (still), I rent an apartment, have a yet to be occupied uterus, and I have definitely surpassed the 25 year mark. Although, not all hope is lost! I have managed to maintain being fabulous in general. That's what I'm running with here folks! I have met amazing people, been to amazing places, and developed an insatiable appetite for ridiculous shoes and sweet tea vodka. If that isn't fabulous then I don't know what is?! This blog is my documented journey through learning how to cope with the sometimes sudden and rather severe twists and turns my life can, and probably will, take. Thanks for coming along for the ride! Buckle up!